I’ve walked through shadows where love once lived,
Through halls echoing with laughter that’s now just a whisper,
Fingers once intertwined, now just memories slipping through my grasp.
I’ve been there—
In the places where promises were made,
Where hearts were laid bare,
Where the walls were supposed to keep out the storms,
But ended up trapping the rain inside.
I’ve built castles in the sand with the idea of love,
Watched them get washed away by waves of reality,
Leaving me stranded on shores of “what could have been.”
And now, every time love knocks,
I hesitate,
Holding the doorknob with sweaty palms,
Heart racing, but not from excitement,
From fear.
Because I crave it—
The warmth, the connection, the feeling of being known,
Of being seen, truly seen,
Not just for my smile or the way I laugh at all the right jokes,
But for the way my heart stutters at the thought of being left behind,
For the way my mind races with doubts and insecurities,
For the way I build walls so high,
Not to keep love out,
But to see if anyone cares enough to climb over.
But I’m scared—
Scared that if I let someone in,
They’ll find the cracks in my foundation,
The parts of me that are still healing,
The wounds that have scarred over but still ache on rainy days.
Scared that if I give my heart again,
It’ll be too fragile,
Too bruised from past loves that promised forever
But left before the sun even set.
I want love—
I want it in all its messy, beautiful chaos,
In the late-night talks and the early-morning silences,
In the arguments that test us and the makeup that binds us.
I want to fall,
But I’m scared of the landing,
Of the ground that rushes up to meet me,
Of the crash that comes when I least expect it.
I’ve been here before,
Standing on the edge,
Looking down at the love that waits for me,
Arms wide open,
But my feet are glued to the ground,
Because I remember the times I jumped,
And how the landing broke me into pieces I’m still trying to put back together.
So, I stand here,
Caught between craving and fear,
Between wanting to love with all I have,
And fearing I’ll lose all I’ve left.
I want to dive in,
To feel the rush of love coursing through my veins,
But I’m scared my heart won’t survive another plunge.
So, I wait—
For a love that will see the fear in my eyes,
But still hold out their hand,
For someone who won’t just climb my walls,
But help me tear them down,
Brick by brick,
Until we’re standing in the open,
Vulnerable,
Yet unafraid.
I wait for the day my heart will say,
“It’s okay, we’re ready,”
And I’ll finally take that leap,
Not into the unknown,
But into the arms of someone who’s ready to catch me,
Who’s ready to love me,
Even with all my broken pieces.
And until then,
I’ll keep craving,
I’ll keep fearing,
But I’ll also keep hoping,
Because maybe, just maybe,
Love is waiting for me too,
Just as scared,
Just as ready,
To finally be found.
Walking shadow poetry Kenya.
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