The pain became unbearable…
and honestly, I didn’t see it coming.
I thought I was strong.
I thought I had it all together.
But that day… something just broke.
I went to pray, hoping to find peace.
However, instead, I found tears I couldn’t hold back.
I tried to distract myself,
editing a video, pretending I was okay,
but the weight was too much.
So, I left it all behind
and just walked to church.
I sat there in silence.
And when I opened my eyes to speak,
no words came out.
Just silence…
and tears I didn’t even know I had.
Tears that didn’t need permission,
tears that had been waiting for too long to fall.
In that moment,
I found myself asking God for help,
not just casually,
but from a place deep down,
a place that was tired,
a place that had tried and failed
more times than I could count.
I was sorry.
Genuinely sorry.
Not just for what I had done,
but for the promises I made to Him
that I never kept.
Not because I didn’t mean them,
but because I was overwhelmed.
Life had been good on the outside,
yes, work was flowing,
opportunities were opening,
my social media looked okay,
and people probably thought I had it all.
But inside…
there was a war.
A quiet one.
A war between my heart and my hope.
Everything looked fine,
except my bank account was a mess,
and even worse,
my heart?
My heart was quietly falling apart.
It’s strange, isn’t it?
How you can be surrounded by light
and still feel lost in the dark?
That’s when it hit me,
a heavy realization I couldn’t shake.
The people who make others smile the most…
are often the ones
who cry the hardest in silence.
We are the ones
who write encouragement posts,
who check in on others,
who make room for broken people…
yet, we struggle to find someone
who can just look at us,
deep enough,
and say, “Hey, I see you too.”
We don’t need people to fix us.
No.
We just need someone who understands
that even the strongest
can break too.
That even those who carry others
sometimes need someone
to carry them.
We don’t need perfection.
We need presence.
Someone who doesn’t run away
when the happy version of us
takes a break.
Someone who reads beyond the surface,
who sees the ache behind the smile,
and still chooses to stay.
You see,
people like us,
who’ve mastered the art of holding others together,
we don’t ask for much.
We just ask for one thing:
to be chosen.
Not as an option.
Not as a second thought.
But as a priority,
as someone worth effort,
worth time,
worth fighting for.
We’re not asking for grand gestures.
We just want to be seen.
To be pursued.
To be loved without having to earn it
with good deeds or constant strength.
We’ve spent so much time
pulling down walls for others,
just hoping someone would do the same for us.
Not just say it,
but show it.
Because at the end of the day,
words can lie…
but actions?
Actions reveal everything.
So now, I sit with my truth.
I accept that I’m not weak for breaking,
I’m human.
I acknowledge that being the strong one
doesn’t mean I don’t need strength too.
And maybe… just maybe…
one day I’ll meet someone
who doesn’t need me to explain everything,
because they already see it.
They feel it.
And they choose me anyway,
first,
not after everyone else has walked away.
Until then,
I’ll keep showing up.
I’ll keep healing.
I’ll keep giving love the way I wish to receive it.
But most of all…
I’ll keep walking through these shadows,
knowing that even this pain,
even this moment…
has the power to grow me
into someone stronger,
wiser,
and softer.
Because yes,
I may bend,
but I will not break.
And yes,
I may fall,
but I will rise…
not because life has always been fair,
but because my story
is still worth telling.
MBCITV OFFICIAL (@officialmbci_tv) • Instagram photos and videos
Walking Shadow Poetry – Grow from what’s meant to kill you.
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