I carry this weight,
Not on my back, but in my chest.
It\u2019s heavy, constant, and it doesn\u2019t rest.
I\u2019ve tried to be strong,
But honestly, how long can I fake being okay
When everything feels so wrong?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Relationships?
I got into them, hoping for love,
Dreaming of something real, something solid.
Instead, I built castles in the air,
Only to watch them crumble,
Leaving behind pieces I can\u2019t seem to repair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I gave too much,
Held on tighter than I should have,
And rushed to make things happen.
I thought if I poured my heart out,
It would all work out.
But it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, I see their faces,
Those I thought I\u2019d build with.
Their smiles shine on posts with someone else.
It\u2019s like salt in a wound,
And every time, I wonder,
\u201cWhat did I do wrong?
Was I too much? Or maybe not enough?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At night, it\u2019s the worst.
When the world is silent,
My thoughts scream the loudest.
Tears fall like they\u2019re on a schedule,
And my pillow absorbs it all.
I wonder, will this weight ever go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Healing felt real at some point.
I truly believed I was okay.
But then, a memory sneaks in,
Or their words echo in my mind,
And suddenly, the wounds reopen,
As if no time has passed at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, trusting anyone feels impossible.
Even the ones with good intentions,
Even the ones who show they care.
I push them away, not out of malice,
But out of fear.
Because losing someone again?
I don\u2019t think I can survive that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The guilt doesn\u2019t help either.
It whispers,
\u201cYou rushed. You pushed too hard.
You did this to yourself.\u201d
And maybe it\u2019s true.
Or maybe it\u2019s not.
I don\u2019t even know anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What I do know is this:
I\u2019m exhausted.
Pretending to be fine feels heavier than the weight itself.
Hoping for love but fearing it has left me stuck.
But still, there\u2019s a small voice
One that reminds me I deserve better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peace feels so far away, but I know it\u2019s there.
Love, real love, isn\u2019t something I have to beg for.
It\u2019s something I deserve
Without fear. Without conditions.
Without being an option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Healing, I\u2019ve learned, isn\u2019t about forgetting.
It\u2019s about finding a way to live with the scars.
To take the pain and grow,
To move forward even when it feels impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tonight, maybe I\u2019ll cry again.
But this time, the tears will mean something different.
They\u2019ll mean I\u2019m ready to let go.
To release the guilt. To shed the weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Someday, I\u2019ll wake up lighter.
Someday, I\u2019ll see someone whole in the mirror
Not broken, not lost,
But strong. Rebuilt. Unshaken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when that day comes,
I\u2019ll finally understand:
The weight didn\u2019t break me.
It taught me how to carry myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n @admin<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I carry this weight,Not on my back, but in my chest.It\u2019s heavy, constant, and it doesn\u2019t rest.I\u2019ve tried to be strong,But honestly, how long can I fake being okayWhen everything feels so wrong? Relationships?I got into them, hoping for love,Dreaming of something real, something solid.Instead, I built castles in the air,Only to watch them crumble,Leaving […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3008,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[121,97,25,98],"tags":[35,49,34,67,50,61,53,22,48],"class_list":["post-3007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poem","category-poetry","category-solitude","category-storytime","tag-poems","tag-poetess","tag-poetry","tag-preciousowoko","tag-spokenword","tag-spokenwords","tag-story","tag-walkingshadowpoetry","tag-walkingshadowpoetrykenya"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-2282000.jpeg?fit=1880%2C1253&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2679,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/the-quiet-thought-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3007,"position":0},"title":"The Quiet Thought by walking shadow poetry.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 18, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s late, and the silence is loud,I\u2019m here, lying still, but my mind, it\u2019s a crowd.I\u2019ve thought about it, more than I should,What if I just\u2026 stopped? Would that be good? I lost my parent, and with them, my light,Now I\u2019m alone, nothing feels right.The pain doesn\u2019t leave, it just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "POETRY"","block_context":{"text":"POETRY","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"grayscale photo of a person writing on notebook","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-5702412.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-5702412.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-5702412.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-5702412.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-5702412.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3206,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/to-be-chosen-first-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3007,"position":1},"title":"To Be Chosen First by walking shadow poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"April 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"The pain became unbearable...and honestly, I didn\u2019t see it coming.I thought I was strong.I thought I had it all together.But that day\u2026 something just broke. I went to pray, hoping to find peace.However, instead, I found tears I couldn't hold back.I tried to distract myself,editing a video, pretending I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "poem"","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0273-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0273-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0273-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0273-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2656,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/left-to-pick-up-the-pieces-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3007,"position":2},"title":"Left to pick up the pieces by walking shadow poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I gave my heart so freely,thinking love would be enough.I offered my time,my patience,my everything,hoping it would mean something. 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When the road gets rough, and you feel so alone,Or when the weight of the world chills you to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "poem"","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Screenshot-2025-01-20-120246.png?fit=441%2C513&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2652,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/blinded-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3007,"position":4},"title":"Blinded by walking shadow poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I gave you everything,every piece of my heart,thinking that maybe this time,it would be different.I thought we were building something real,something that could last,but I was wrongso wrong. You smiled,you laughed,you made me feel like I was special,but underneath it all,you never wanted morethan just a good time,just someone to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "POETRY"","block_context":{"text":"POETRY","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"woman in pink dress sitting on brown wooden chair","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-7268549.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-7268549.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-7268549.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-7268549.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3116,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/its-strange-really-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3007,"position":5},"title":"It\u2019s strange, really by Walking Shadow Poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"March 13, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m scared of being alone,Not the kind where you sit quietly for a while,But the kind that feels like a heavy shadow,Creeping in when no one\u2019s around. 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I don\u2019t like\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "poem"","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/b8a993c6ff7165b153294da09686f3b0.jpg?fit=236%2C420&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3007"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3009,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3007\/revisions\/3009"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3008"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}