I\u2019m scared of being alone,
Not the kind where you sit quietly for a while,
But the kind that feels like a heavy shadow,
Creeping in when no one\u2019s around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s strange, really.
How silence can feel louder than a crowd,
How an empty room can weigh more than a thousand voices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t like it,
The quiet.
The stillness.
It feels too much, like something is missing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I fill the space.
I invite friends over,
Not because I always want company,
But because the thought of being alone feels heavier.
And when no one is free,
I pick up my phone,
Dialing numbers like it\u2019s the only thing keeping me sane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Long calls,
That\u2019s my thing.
I stay on the line for hours,
Listening to stories I\u2019ve heard before,
Just to hear a voice on the other end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because when the call ends,
The silence comes back.
And silence?
It\u2019s loud in ways no one talks about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t remember the last time,
I spent a whole day without someone around,
Or without my phone pressed to my ear,
Just to feel\u2026 I belong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s become a habit,
One that feels too familiar.
When the day starts, I reach out.
When the night falls, I hold on tighter.
Because being alone feels like a weight I can\u2019t carry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And people think it\u2019s simple,
“Just enjoy your own company,” they say.
But they don\u2019t understand.
The quiet doesn\u2019t feel peaceful to me,
It feels empty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When no one\u2019s there,
My mind gets louder.
Thoughts I try to bury rise up,
And I\u2019m left facing a version of myself I don\u2019t want to meet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I avoid it.
I drown the quiet with laughter,
Fill the space with conversations,
Even when my heart is too tired to speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t always like this,
But somewhere along the way,
Silence became a stranger I\u2019m too afraid to sit with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe I\u2019m scared of what I\u2019ll find,
If I sit alone too long.
Maybe I\u2019m scared that without the noise,
I\u2019ll hear the things I\u2019ve been trying to forget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I keep people close,
Not because I\u2019m weak,
But because being alone feels harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And every time the phone rings,
Or someone knocks on my door,
A part of me breathes easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because for one more moment,
I don\u2019t have to face the silence.
For one more moment
I don\u2019t have to be alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n