{"id":3298,"date":"2025-05-05T14:27:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-05T14:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/?p=3298"},"modified":"2025-05-05T14:27:03","modified_gmt":"2025-05-05T14:27:03","slug":"you-dont-need-to-win-them-back-you-need-to-free-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/you-dont-need-to-win-them-back-you-need-to-free-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;You Don\u2019t Need to Win Them Back\u2014You Need to Free Yourself&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I used to believe<br>that every ending needed a reason.<br>At first,<br>I thought pain had to teach me,<br>that heartbreak was supposed to shape me,<br>and maybe,<br>if I changed enough,<br>they\u2019d come back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eventually though,<br>I realized not everything happens for a reason.<br>Sometimes,<br>things just happen.<br>People drift apart.<br>Words get lost.<br>And slowly,<br>hearts walk away,<br>without maps,<br>without warning,<br>and without apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nevertheless,<br>I kept searching for meaning.<br>I searched in memories,<br>in unread messages,<br>in silences louder than goodbyes.<br>For a while,<br>I called it growth.<br>But truthfully,<br>it was grief<br>wearing hope like a disguise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Meanwhile,<br>people kept saying,<br>\u201cTurn your pain into power.<br>Get successful.<br>Make them regret it.\u201d<br>At first,<br>those words gave me fuel.<br>But later,<br>I began to question,<br>what if healing<br>isn\u2019t about proving anything?<br>What if success<br>isn\u2019t meant to be<br>a message for someone<br>who stopped listening?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As time passed,<br>I saw joy return<br>to the lives of those who left.<br>Their smiles,<br>once familiar,<br>now had no space for me.<br>And yes,<br>that hurt.<br>Not because I wanted to go back,<br>but because it reminded me<br>they had moved on<br>while I was still holding on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Back then,<br>I thought my worth<br>was in being chosen.<br>Now, however,<br>I know it lives<br>in the letting go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even though it hurts,<br>it\u2019s not weakness<br>to walk away<br>from what no longer holds you.<br>Rather,<br>it\u2019s strength<br>to stop knocking<br>on doors that no longer open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I no longer need<br>to speak louder to be heard.<br>Nor do I need<br>to shine brighter just to be seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead,<br>healing came quietly.<br>Not through revenge,<br>but through release.<br>It came<br>when I stopped trying<br>to win a war<br>that ended<br>long before I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From that point on,<br>I rose for me.<br>I grew,<br>not to be admired,<br>but to feel whole.<br>Because now,<br>I understand<br>there is power<br>in not looking back.<br>Likewise,<br>there is peace<br>in soft endings.<br>And more importantly,<br>there is strength<br>in knowing<br>you can be whole<br>on your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So no,<br>this isn\u2019t a love poem.<br>Rather,<br>it\u2019s a quiet release.<br>A final goodbye<br>to someone<br>who stopped reaching back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in that silence,<br>I didn\u2019t find revenge.<br>Instead,<br>I found something better,<br>I found myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/life-without-you-has-not-been-easy\/\">Life without you has not been easy by walking shadow poetry<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/share\/p\/15Utsm43Je\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/share\/p\/15Utsm43Je<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"THE MISTAKES I MADE by walking shadow poetry\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/32LcV1dDXKs?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I used to believethat every ending needed a reason.At first,I thought pain had to teach me,that heartbreak was supposed to shape me,and maybe,if I changed enough,they\u2019d come back. Eventually though,I realized not everything happens for a reason.Sometimes,things just happen.People drift apart.Words get lost.And slowly,hearts walk away,without maps,without warning,and without apology. Nevertheless,I kept searching for meaning.I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[121,97,25,98,1],"tags":[35,49,67,50,61,55,22,48],"class_list":["post-3298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poem","category-poetry","category-solitude","category-storytime","category-uncategorized","tag-poems","tag-poetess","tag-preciousowoko","tag-spokenword","tag-spokenwords","tag-stories","tag-walkingshadowpoetry","tag-walkingshadowpoetrykenya"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LP-1502-scaled.jpg?fit=1707%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3029,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/lessons-without-scars-by-walkingshadowpoetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":0},"title":"Lessons Without Scars by walkingshadowpoetry.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"January 29, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"I used to believe that experience was the best teacher.That you had to feel the fire before you could understand the burn,Walk through storms in order to appreciate the sun,And lose yourself just to know the pain of finding your way back. But over time, life has a way of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"man riding on horse in front of window","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-3713501.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-3713501.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-3713501.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-3713501.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/pexels-photo-3713501.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2996,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/spoken-word-choosing-me-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":1},"title":"Spoken Word: Choosing Me by walking shadow poetry.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"January 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"You said you wanted something casual,Something simple, no strings attached.But I wasn\u2019t ready for that.I\u2019ve been hurt too many times before,And the last thing I want this yearIs to be just an option.A backup plan.Someone who\u2019s there only when it\u2019s convenient. It wasn\u2019t easy to accept the way things were,To\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Screenshot-2025-01-27-153204.png?fit=446%2C622&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3330,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/we-survived-what-was-meant-to-destroy-us\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":2},"title":"\u201cWe Survived What Was Meant to Destroy Us\u201d","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"June 24, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"By Walking Shadow Poetry Life doesn\u2019t always send warnings before it breaks us. Some of us have walked through seasons that nearly destroyed everything inside yet here we are. Still breathing. Still building. Still becoming. This piece is a reflection, not just of pain, but of the quiet strength it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo of person standing on grass field during golden hour","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-3550518.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-3550518.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-3550518.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-3550518.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3209,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/walk-in-their-shoes-spoken-word-piece\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":3},"title":"&#8220;Walk in Their Shoes&#8221; Spoken Word Piece","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"April 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Pain, it\u2019s personal.So deeply personal, in fact,that no matter how much we want to understand,we can\u2019t always feel it like they do.You see, it\u2019s easy to judge,it\u2019s easy to assume,it\u2019s easy to dismiss someone else\u2019s struggleswhen you haven\u2019t lived them yourself.But here's the truth,we can\u2019t truly know someone\u2019s journeyunless we've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0327-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0327-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0327-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/MG_0327-scaled.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5470,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/pain-and-pressure-is-a-must-in-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":4},"title":"Pain and pressure is a must in life","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"March 17, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I used to have excuses. Plenty of them. To say, If my parents had done better\u2026 If my background was different\u2026 If my friends had supported me\u2026 And for a long time, those reasons sounded good in my head. But time has a way of sitting you down and speaking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Art&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Art","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/art\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/474A9026-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/474A9026-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/474A9026-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/474A9026-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/474A9026-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3290,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/i-wanted-to-be-wrong-about-you-turns-out-i-was-right\/","url_meta":{"origin":3298,"position":5},"title":"\u201cI Wanted to Be Wrong About You-Turns Out, I Was Right\u201d","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"May 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"So this is how it ends,not with anger,not with blame,but with a quiet acheI didn\u2019t see coming\u2026or maybe I did. Because truth be told,I saw it coming.I felt it in the pauses,in the way your heart never fully settled.And even though I sensedyou might one day go back,I kept wishing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/18d5fb1ebe8e06b751ca735370fdf4ee.jpg?fit=236%2C420&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3298"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3300,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3298\/revisions\/3300"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}