{"id":3473,"date":"2025-12-05T10:23:35","date_gmt":"2025-12-05T10:23:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/?p=3473"},"modified":"2025-12-05T10:23:40","modified_gmt":"2025-12-05T10:23:40","slug":"just-a-boy-smiling-on-the-outside-but-bleeding-inside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/just-a-boy-smiling-on-the-outside-but-bleeding-inside\/","title":{"rendered":"Just a Boy smiling on the outside but bleeding inside."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I was just a boy\u2026<br>small hands, soft voice,<br>trust as pure as morning light.<br>But innocence can be stolen quietly<br>by the very people meant to protect it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was older\u2026<br>a house help trusted in our home,<br>trusted with me.<br>But trust can become a weapon<br>in the wrong hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I didn\u2019t have the language<br>for what happened.<br>Didn\u2019t know how wrong it was.<br>All I knew<br>was that something inside me broke<br>before I ever learned how to fix things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I wanted to tell my parents\u2026<br>but how do you explain a wound<br>you don\u2019t understand?<br>How do you speak a shame<br>you shouldn\u2019t even carry?<br>So I swallowed it,<br>hid it behind laughter,<br>buried it beneath schoolwork,<br>locked it inside the boy<br>I left behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Years passed.<br>My voice deepened,<br>my shoulders broadened,<br>but the child in me<br>still trembled in the dark.<br>Trauma grows in silence,<br>it matures with you,<br>sleeps beside you,<br>wakes with you,<br>and whispers your fears<br>in a language only your pain understands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I became a man<br>haunted by a childhood<br>no one knew happened.<br>A man smiling outside,<br>but bleeding inside.<br>A man functioning,<br>yet fractured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But one day,<br>the weight became too heavy<br>for the strength I pretended to have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I broke.<br>And maybe breaking<br>was the first honest thing<br>I had done in years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I walked into therapy<br>with trembling hands,<br>sat across from a stranger<br>and told them the story<br>I couldn\u2019t tell my own parents.<br>A story I had locked away<br>so well<br>that even my reflection<br>didn\u2019t know it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Therapy was not magic,<br>it was work.<br>Hard work.<br>It was opening wounds<br>I spent a lifetime hiding.<br>It was learning<br>that what happened to me<br>was not my fault.<br>Not my shame.<br>Not my burden to carry alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was understanding<br>that healing is not forgetting,<br>healing is remembering<br>without breaking.<br>Healing is letting the boy I buried<br>finally breathe<br>and come home to the man I am becoming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so today\u2026<br>I speak.<br>Not in whispers,<br>not in fear,<br>but in truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To the child I was,<br>you survived.<br>To the man I am,<br>you are rising.<br>To the pain I carried,<br>you no longer define me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I sought closure\u2026<br>and found courage.<br>I sought healing\u2026<br>and found myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is my journey,<br>from silence<br>to voice,<br>from trauma<br>to truth,<br>from brokenness<br>to becoming whole again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I didn\u2019t choose what happened to me.<br>But I choose what happens next.<br>And today\u2026<br>I choose to heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/share\/p\/1MKkLP3tbs\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/share\/p\/1MKkLP3tbs<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/defilements-break-and-shatter-the-most-strong-parts\/\">Defilements break and shatter the most strong parts.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"WALKING SHADOW POETRY COMPILATION spokenwords october\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/087-uaqy1C4?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was just a boy\u2026small hands, soft voice,trust as pure as morning light.But innocence can be stolen quietlyby the very people meant to protect it. She was older\u2026a house help trusted in our home,trusted with me.But trust can become a weaponin the wrong hands. I didn\u2019t have the languagefor what happened.Didn\u2019t know how wrong it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3474,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[121,97,25,98],"tags":[35,49,34,67,50,61,55,53,22,48],"class_list":["post-3473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poem","category-poetry","category-solitude","category-storytime","tag-poems","tag-poetess","tag-poetry","tag-preciousowoko","tag-spokenword","tag-spokenwords","tag-stories","tag-story","tag-walkingshadowpoetry","tag-walkingshadowpoetrykenya"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/IMG_9166-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1707&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2735,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/choose-to-heal-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":0},"title":"Choose to Heal by walking shadow poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 28, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Stop looking back at the pain you\u2019ve known,The hurt that cut you to the bone.What\u2019s done is done, it\u2019s in the past,But what you do next is what will last. Being hurt was never your choice,But healing is where you find your voice.It\u2019s hard, I know, to let things go,But\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;POETRY&quot;","block_context":{"text":"POETRY","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"woman with delicate flower in white water","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-6621152.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-6621152.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-6621152.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-6621152.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-6621152.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2620,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/broken-trust-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":1},"title":"Broken Trust by walking shadow poetry.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 8, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I never thought it would come from you,The one I trusted to see me through.I shared my secrets, my hopes, my fears,But now those memories bring only tears. You were the closest, the one I believed,But in the end, it was you who deceived.I thought we were stronger, thought we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;POETRY&quot;","block_context":{"text":"POETRY","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"two women sitting on white bench","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-1549280.jpeg?fit=1200%2C849&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-1549280.jpeg?fit=1200%2C849&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-1549280.jpeg?fit=1200%2C849&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-1549280.jpeg?fit=1200%2C849&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-1549280.jpeg?fit=1200%2C849&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3110,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/echoes-of-a-broken-home-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":2},"title":"Echoes of a Broken Home by Walking Shadow Poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"March 13, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"I was raised where love sounded like warWhere the walls shook not from laughter,But from voices sharp enough to cut through silence.Where \"I love you\" was whispered in public,But fists spoke louder behind closed doors. I grew up learning that love\u2026Was something you had to survive. And so, I survived.Through\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/IMG_9489-2-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/IMG_9489-2-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/IMG_9489-2-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/IMG_9489-2-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/IMG_9489-2-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2616,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/the-pain-of-trusting-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":3},"title":"The Pain of Trusting by walking shadow poetry","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"September 8, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I gave my heart, my secrets, my soul,To those I thought would keep me whole.I trusted deeply, without a doubt,But now I know what trust is about. The ones I loved, the ones I called mine,Turned their backs and crossed the line.They knew my fears, they knew my dreams,But broke\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;POETRY&quot;","block_context":{"text":"POETRY","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"the word betrayal spelled out in scrabble tiles","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-19915914.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-19915914.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-19915914.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-19915914.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/pexels-photo-19915914.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3470,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/defilements-break-and-shatter-the-most-strong-parts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":4},"title":"Defilements break and shatter the most strong parts.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"December 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Dad\u2026There are words I never thoughtwould find their way out of my mouth,wounds I never imaginedcould breathe again without bleeding.But today\u2026I stand here, not as the girl you broke,but as the woman rebuilding herselffrom pieces she refused to die in. I was young\u2026too young to understand why the worldsuddenly felt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"walkingshadowpoetry by Precious Owoko","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/download-12.jpeg?fit=736%2C736&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/download-12.jpeg?fit=736%2C736&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/download-12.jpeg?fit=736%2C736&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/download-12.jpeg?fit=736%2C736&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3182,"url":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/more-than-just-a-door-by-walking-shadow-poetry\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":5},"title":"More Than Just a Door by Walking Shadow Poetry.","author":"walking shadow poetry kenya","date":"April 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Fame and popularityThey shine like golden keys,Unlocking doors that once seemed sealed,Creating pathways where none existed,Opening spaces for you to walk in,For the world to see what you bring. But tell me,What good is a doorIf you cannot stay in the room?If the moment you step inside,Your presence fades like\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"poem","link":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/SPOKENWORDSandMODERNDAYPOETRY\/poem\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/0fe0a24ed3cd6184b153ba261b3dbd1f.jpg?fit=236%2C384&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3473"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3473\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3475,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3473\/revisions\/3475"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkingshadowpoetry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}