A Life of Closed Doors

I grew up with the word “No”
Echoing through my life like a broken song,
Each time I tried to reach for something,
The world reminded me I didn’t belong.

As a child, I learned how to hide my heart,
Burying it beneath layers of quiet pain,
Rejection wasn’t just a moment, it was a place
A house I lived in, under constant hate from those close.

Friends? They were just whispers in the wind,
Never staying long enough to hold my hand.
Family? Well, they tried their best,
But even love felt like a line drawn in the sand.

School was a battlefield I never won,
Too scared to speak, too tired to fight,
I carried their words home in my chest,
Shutting down before the end of every night.

I grew up thinking maybe I wasn’t enough,
Maybe I was born with something missing.
“Why can’t they see me?” I often asked,
But the world kept its distance, never listening.

Now I’m grown, but those scars still ache,
The child inside me never learned to trust,
I wear my silence like armor every day,
Still waiting for the world to say, “You’re one of us.”

I pretend I don’t care, I’ve gotten good at that,
Laugh it off, shrug it away,
But deep down, I’m still that child,
Longing for a place where I can finally stay.

Yet, somehow, through it all, I’ve survived,
I’ve learned to stand on my shaky feet.
Each rejection a lesson, a wound that healed,
Though the hurt still lingers, I refuse to retreat.

Maybe one day, I’ll open my own door,
Let love and acceptance find their way in,
But for now, I keep walking forward,
Even if it’s with the ghost of where I’ve been.

by walking shadow poetry Kenya.