Ella sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the empty wall. Her phone buzzed with messages from friends, concerned and offering support, but she ignored them. She wasn’t ready to face the truth.
It had been three months since her father passed away. Everyone kept telling her it was okay to grieve, that it was normal to feel sad. But Ella didn’t feel sad. She didn’t feel anything. She convinced herself that she was fine, that life could go on as if nothing had happened.
Every morning, Ella got up, went to school, did her homework, and helped her mom around the house. She smiled and laughed with her friends, keeping up the facade of normalcy. At night, she would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take her away from the thoughts she refused to acknowledge.
One day, Ella’s best friend, Mia, invited her to a small garden in the neighborhood. It was a place they used to visit often, filled with vibrant flowers and a small pond. As they walked through the garden, Mia gently brought up the topic Ella had been avoiding.
“Ella, it’s okay to talk about your dad. You don’t have to pretend everything’s fine.”
Ella stiffened, her eyes fixed on a blooming rose. “I am fine, Mia. Really.”
Mia sighed and took Ella’s hand, guiding her to a bench by the pond. “I know you miss him. We all do. It’s not healthy to keep everything bottled up.”
Ella’s throat tightened. She wanted to cry, to scream, but she couldn’t. She was scared that if she started, she would never be able to stop.
Mia continued, her voice soft and comforting. “Remember when we were little, and we planted those sunflowers in your backyard? Your dad helped us. He showed us how to care for them, how to make them grow tall and strong. Those flowers are still there, Ella. Just like his love for you.”
Ella’s eyes welled up with tears, but she blinked them away. She couldn’t break down, not here, not now. “I just… I don’t want to talk about it, Mia. It hurts too much.”
Mia nodded, understanding. “I get it. But denying it won’t make the pain go away. It just buries it deeper.”
Ella looked at the pond, its surface calm and serene. She knew Mia was right, but admitting it felt like admitting defeat. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “I don’t know how to deal with it, Mia. I don’t know how to feel.”
Mia squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just take it one day at a time. And remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re here for you.”
Ella finally allowed a tear to escape, rolling down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, but it was a start. For the first time in months, she felt a tiny crack in the wall she had built around her heart.
As they sat in the garden, surrounded by the beauty of life, Ella realized that denying her pain wouldn’t make it disappear. She needed to face it, to feel it, to allow herself to grieve. It was the only way she could begin to heal.
And so, with Mia by her side, Ella took her first tentative steps out of the garden of denial and into the light of acceptance. It was a long road ahead, but she knew she wasn’t walking it alone.
By walking shadow poetry Kenya.
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