I needed you, but you weren’t there,
Not just your body, your love, your care.
You were a shadow behind closed doors,
Present in name, but nothing more.
You taught me silence, not with words,
But by the things I never heard.
No “I’m proud,” no “I see you grow,”
Just empty stares, and “I told you so.”
You held the world in heavy hands,
Yet never learned to understand.
That strength’s not found in stone or steel,
But in the way a father helps you heal.
Sometimes you shouted, when you should’ve stayed still,
Left me with wounds too deep to fill.
I tried to please you, tried to shine,
But your love always felt just out of line.
I watched other dads in parks and pews,
Wishing I could trade my shoes.
I blamed myself, thought I was flawed,
That maybe I was too much or not enough for God.
But I grew anyway, through cracks and scars,
Found my own light, counted my stars.
I built my heart from broken ground,
And found a softer strength all around.
Now I’ve learned: forgiveness doesn’t mean forget,
But I won’t let your absence be my threat.
I speak my truth without shame or fear,
Even if you never choose to hear.
Because the man I’m becoming won’t repeat your ways,
I’ll love with depth and give with grace.
And maybe one day, when I hold my own,
They’ll never have to feel alone.
I forgive you, not because you said you’re sorry,
But because carrying this pain is just too heavy.
I release the silence, the ache, the rage,
So I can finally step off this caged stage.
I forgive you, not to erase the past,
But to free myself at last.
The child in me deserved much more,
But the adult in me won’t keep that score.
I may never get the dad I dreamed,
But I’ll still become the love I need.
And in that freedom, I choose to stand,
No longer broken, just beautifully unplanned.
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A soul built strong from broken stone by walking shadow
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